I’ve been offline again for quite awhile as I adjust to yet another new role: motherhood.
Sure, I’m poking around on Twitter still, but the thoughts that have been piling up in my brain are largely still there, rattling around, reminding myself of my shortcomings and inconsistencies.
The problem, I believe, is that I’ve always tried to monetize my hobbies.
This is obviously something I’ve been working through in therapy for years now, because this obsession with “productivity” has gotten me nowhere. And in the traditional meaning of the word, parenting is anything but productive (especially during a pandemic).
Honestly? I just want to write.
I want to get some thoughts out of my brain and onto digital paper without obsessing over whether this “fits my brand” or “is marketable.”
Sure, I’m becoming increasingly liberal with age, but I can’t help but fault capitalism in some ways for making me look for the payout from everything I do.
That has become exhausting, and I have a sweet little boy to obsess over now (just kidding, I’m not trying to dump my emotional needs on my child).
Does this mean I’m setting up a no-monetization-ever venture? No. I’m practicing mindfulness. And what I need in this moment is an outlet that I’m not financially relying on. So I can write without a “call to action” or a top ten list for SEO purposes.
I’m going to use the blog to talk about things I’m processing in my life right now, from parenthood to travel to new food and recipes to existentialism (from time to time).
Over on Substack (mallie.substack.com), I’ll be doing the same for things I’m processing in the world. If you sign up there, I’ll also include a link to any new blogs in the email newsletter.
What I’m doing on both platforms is using logic and empathy to make sense of things. That’s it. See you again soon.